Mile Long Looking Glass
by TheRangerBoy
Summary: Commander Shepard has repeated his life thousands of times, each with slight changes. Over this time, he has grown depressed for his lack of change and makes a few changes beyond his norm that he hasn't thought of before. These changes are definitely interesting to him, but what will result of them? Will he escape his personal hell? Heavily AU. Infrequent Updates.
1. Prologue

Prologue

Shepard awoke from his slumber, sharp yet somehow dim lights piercing his eyesight. He ignored the pain digging in his eye sockets in favor of looking at the roof of his bunk. He'd woken up over a thousand times in this bunk, same day, same goal, never resting. He sighed out as he felt the familiar weight sink on his shoulders, his curse acting as a seven-ton weight constricting his breathing. He felt the urge to give up and let this cycle run its course. He entertained the thought for a brief moment before images flooded his mind. The first one was Kaiden. The young man was turned to him, gentle smile on his face. It was from one of his first cycles. The image faded to Liara. The beauty was flustered throughout their various talks. He only found out after the thirtieth or so cycle the reason for that. It faded again, this time on his favorite Turian. It was their time at the Citadel shooting various bottles during shore leave. While he enjoyed the thoughts, he tried to banish them. He felt fear at what they might drundge up. Instead of obeying his commands, they flooded him with details… information that he wanted to forget. Each cycle someone died. He never knew who would until the moment. Ash or Kaiden on Virmire. Just about everyone on the Collector Base. Mordin, Wrex… and _Tali_ during the Invasion…

He growled as he sat up, taking in the familiar visage of the Normandy SR-1's creamy blue walls. Every time he completed a cycle he ended up here. Every time he died… here. The only rest he ever got was after his death to the Collectors. The feeling of suffocation, his blood boiling under his skin due to the pressure difference. He shook the moment from his mind, eyes still showing how the event haunted him through each and every cycle. His hand traveled through his above military length hair. He smiled at the small victory. He was always lax with the regulations which earned him a good bit of fuss from the brass, be he didn't care. It wasn't like they could court-martial The Lion of Elysium. His smile faded to a frown as the memory of that day crumbled before it could form. After so many cycles, details became blurry especially when they weren't reinforced. After his fourth or fifth thousand cycle, he nearly forgot the events that built him to his first cycle.

He pushed himself up off of the short bunk, letting the familiar motion carry him into his bunkside chest. He bent over picking up the N7 Onyx Heavy Armor from it. Normally, a Sentinel would be incapable of even training with it, but due to his immaculate scores with Medium Armor in training which according to his superiors was on par with those with light armor, he was allowed to train with Heavy Armor. He slipped out his civvy Biotic Amp for the one he used in service. A familiar jolt accompanied the change in an amp, not even causing the common twitch that happened with most soldiers. He slipped on the plates of ceramic and metal, sealing the undersuit to vacuum. He forewent the helmet out of personal preference. He grabbed the Lancer I out of the box as well, looking at the gun with a scowl. They give him advanced armor, but the shittiest weapon possible…

Just another complaint to add to the numerous ones he had with his life.

He closed the chest, stretching out his weary limbs. If there was one thing Cerberus was good for, it was quality of life. Leather Seats, comfy beds, palatable foods, and not to mention his 'upgrades'. They didn't shy away from any and all improvements to his body. He chuckled as he realized that he was probably the only human to have not been screwed over in 'enlargement.' Not that he ever felt he needed it. He never got around to seeing _why_ Lawson had made that change. She would probably put it down to 'better espionage'. He wasn't the type to look a gift horse in the mouth though…

He took a deep breath, his only solace before the storm that would be this cycle. If he remembered correctly this was the… 11,416th cycle? He frowned. That didn't sound quite right. He furrowed his brow until a small detail came to mind. Drinks with Tali in Afterlife Bar. That was last cycle and on the 11,416th. So this was actually the 11,417th…

Maybe once he hit 500 he'd take one off?

He figured he deserved a break.

He opened the door and excited to the elevator. As he was currently on the Crew Deck, he figured he's just get the cycle over with and just go in with a bang.

The door to the elevator opened to the deck below the CIC. He lamely walked up the stairs, passing by a few crew members as he did so. He entered the CIC, gently brushing past some of the of the other crew members with a deftness that surprised them. He stopped beside Nihlus, hearing the words that began every Cycle for him.

"Board is green. Approach run has begun." Joker said, ship lurching as to approach the Mass Relay

"Hitting the Relay in 3… 2… 1." Joker continued as a dull hum filled the cockpit, and most likely the whole ship

The ship lurched for a moment faint *Fe-Toom* noise. In all this time he could never give a name to really accurately describe the noise. He wondered if it was just a "physics thing" or some other reason. Shepard decided to make a mental note to look that up later.

"Thrusters… Check. Navigation… Check. Internal emissions sink engaged. All systems online. Drift just under 1,500 K."

"1,500 is good… your captain will be pleased…" Nihlus commented before leaving for the meeting room that Shepard knew he would be called to in a moment

"...I hate that guy…" Joker sighed out

"Nihlus gave you a compliment… so you hate him?" Kaiden asked in confusion, turning to the pilot with squinting eyes as if trying to see through Joker's bullshit

Shepard smiled at that detail. He never stopped finding it funny even after so many times.

"You remember to zip up your jumpsuit when you get out of the bathroom… that's good. I just jumped us halfway across the galaxy and hit something the size of a pinhead. That's incredible!" Joker ranted before settling a bit, " 'Sides… Spectres are trouble. I don't like having him on board. Call me paranoid if you want…"

Kaiden leveled a deadpan look at Joker.

"You're paranoid." He stated, same look on his face, "The Council helped fund this project. They have the right to send someone to keep an eye on their investment."

"Yeah, that's the official story, but only an idiot believes the official story." Joker countered with a knowing look before glancing at Shepard as if asking for input in the matter

"Joker's right. I'm willing to bet a hundred credits that this isn't just a 'Shakedown Run'."

"That so Commander? I may have to hold you to it…" Kaiden giving a coy smirk

"I'd have to double it then. Free money, am I right Joker?" Shepard responded, enjoying the slight deviation of dialogue

"Deal." Kaiden said

"Joker, status report?" Anderson's voice came through Joker's interface

"Just cleared the relay, stealth is engaged. It looks alright from here..."

"Good, link us with the network at a bouey. I want us to get those mission reports in before Eden Prime."

"Got it, Cap. Get ready too 'cause Nihlus is heading your way." Joker said with a hint of disdain

"He's already here." Anderson signed out, "Just call Shepard into the comm room before you embarrass yourself, further Lieutenant."

"Aye Aye." Joker cut the comm

"You heard him… You got a date with feathers over in the comm room." The pilot joked

"Don't worry, I don't think he'll stay long after Eden Prime." Shepard said, internally grimacing

He waved the two off, ignoring to talk to Jenkins on his way to the comm room. He honest found the conversation pointless. No matter what he said, the kid would die. It related to something odd he found throughout the cycles. Time never ran the same way twice. Sure, some events were constant, Virmire, Ilos, Fall of the SR-1 etcetera but the relative change was often tied to intelligence. The smarter crew would often act differently between cycles. It was nothing major mind you. It mostly came down to conversation choices. He had seen a few lifestyle changes that continued through the cycles between the crew. Garrus was a lot more lax to begin with after the six thousand mark, Miranda often skipped some trains of thought as if she had already told him before. It seemed from his observations that this came from a sense of Deja-Vu. The smart ones saw this and acted differently.

With that train of thought dying, he entered the comm room to see Nihlus.

"Ah, Commander. It's nice to see you." Nihlus said, earning a curt reply from Shepard

"Likewise." He kept professional

"Eden Prime… I'm interested in it. I've heard it's quite beautiful…"

"Been there a few times myself. It lives up to most of the hype. Though I guess you don't plan on going there for a vacation anytime soon." Shepard replied, one eyebrow raised

"Yes, that is true. I'm more interested in what it means for humanity. It's proof that Humanity can support colonies at the edge of the Traverse… _and_ protect them. But how true is that?"

"Did something happen to Eden Prime?" Shepard asked, knowing the horrors to await his arrival at the colony

"We'll discuss that when the Captain arrives." Nihlus closed as Anderson entered

"Well… speak of the devil and he shall appear." Shepard stated

Memories of Earth flashed through his mind. The countless cycles of watching the man who helped raise him bleed out in front of him dug into his skull. The others in the room could feel the change in Shepard despite how brief it was. Anderson's brows knit in concern while Nihlus felt a cold sweat travel down his plates. It was odd considering Turians normally didn't sweat.

"I think it's time we told Shepard what's really going on here."

"This isn't just a Shakedown Run." Nihlus Explained

"I knew that. They don't send Spectres, especially ones that I can't move ten feet without 'bumping into', on Shakedown Runs." Shepard said, glancing to Nihlus

"We're on our way to Eden Prime to pick up a beacon."

"So…?" The commander asked

"It's of Prothean origin." Nihlus clarified quickly before continuing, "I'm also here to evaluate you. You've shown great promise and I look forward to seeing if you are a fit for the Spectres."

"You'll be surprised." Shepard said with confidence

"I look forward to it."

"Captain! Problem on Eden Prime!"

"What seems to be the issue Joker?" Anderson's eyes narrowing dangerously

"We got a distress signal. A file was attached to it. You should see this…" Joker sounded worried, something that Anderson had never heard from the man

"Patch it through."

They all turned to the vid-screen to hear gunfire. Things exploded seemingly randomly, often taking a man or two with it. Shepard watched with a blank face, having seen the video thousands of times and having memorized the details of each person's face in it would do that to a man like him. Then the camera jumped to the source of all his anguish. A Reaper. Sovereign to be specific in this case.

The Reapers were the reason he couldn't enjoy his life. Each cycle he sludged through ended with him dying to one. No matter how hard he tried, he could never stop the foe and live to see the outcome. His end was always met against himself or Harbinger. A few times at his lowest, he committed suicide. It never worked, and after another ten cycles, he gave on that.

"Joker, rewind, and pause at 38.5."

"What _is_ that?" Nihlus muttered

"A sign that this isn't going to be a regular evaluation…" Shepard answered

"Nihlus, Shepard?" Anderson called for their attention, "This just got a whole lot more complicated."

* * *

*Normandy Cargo Bay*

Wind swept through Shepard's hair, somehow avoiding the legend's face. He wore no helmet despite the drop conditions. As such it seemed odd that he was resisting the urge to yawn as Anderson gave them the last minute debriefing. While he saw the man as a father figure, he couldn't bring himself not to grow bored with the dramatic speeches.

"Hey Nihlus, aren't you coming along with us?" The FNG asked

Shepard sighed at the kid's stupidity for a moment before a thought jumped at him.

"While the FNG is a dumbass for asking, he does raise a good point." Shepard supported the kid

"I work faster on my own."

"Aren't you supposed to 'evaluate' me? It would probably be hard to do that two clicks away…" Shepard continued, hinting at his intention

Nihlus sighed as Anderson spoke.

"Shepard, it is _not_ the time to be talking to a Spectre like tha-"

"It's fine. He does have a good point. We're facing an unknown, and I'm supposed to be watching him. My instincts got in the way. Sorry about that Commander." Nihlus said genuinely, shocking Shepard

He'd never tried that before. It raised several questions that he would address later to the front of his mind.

"I wasn't expecting you to follow along with that being a Spectre and all…" Shepard openly said

"You'll find that I'm more open-minded than most in my position… after all, that's how we got into this situation…"

"Lead the way, esteemed Spectre." Shepard joked

Nihlus gave him the Turian equivalent of a smirk before heading to the edge of the open cargo bay. Nihlus' arms spread wide as he fell back in a reverse swan dive. Shepard looked back at his squad, motioning for them to follow him as he dove out the cargo bay as well. Instead of copying Nihlus, he started with his feet perpendicular to the ground two kilometers down before settling into a pose as if he were sitting in a relaxing chair with his arms crossed. His first genuine smile in over a thousand cycles broke out. It was amazing what a little change could produce… he had to make more.

"Living comfortable Commander?" Nihlus asked as the two equalized in air

"Of course…" Shepard replied, glancing at the altimeter

It was time to 'pull the 'chute' as his ancestors called it.

Getting the same idea as Shepard, Nihlus followed suit. Both of their masses grew to be one-tenth of normal. They both gently floated down with the aid of the Ezzo Cores in their armor. Upon touching down they looked up to see that the other two members of the group had activated their cores much sooner in line with protocol. It took several minutes for them to fall to the ground which Nihlus and Shepard used to secure the area.

"Commander, have you been to Eden Prime before?" Nihlus asked as Kaiden rolled in from the drop

"No, why?" The Commander answered in confusion

"Some details about the surroundings would be nice. It would save us some of the effort of pulling some recon of the area."

"If I remember from the files Jenkins was born here."

"Ah, we should speak with the Corporal…"

"Good idea." Shepard said begrudgingly

He wished he wouldn't have to listen to the Jenkins rave about Eden. Shepard swore the kid was a bit too enthusiastic for this kind of mission. How he made it to even corporal, he could never guess. Now that he thought about it, wasn't the kid a Marine? His ship was Navy. How in the flying hell did the kid even get assigned to the Normandy?!

Questions continued to pile until Kaiden's voice broke through.

"Commander, you got that?"

"Uh… sure."

That earned a chuckle from Nihlus.

"Questions for later." He mumbled to himself

"You said something?" Nihlus asked, hearing the mumbling from a few feet over

"Nothing, just something I'll have to check out myself later."

"If you say so. Shouldn't we get a move on though? That beacon isn't getting any safer while we're standing here."

"Right." Shepard took front whipping out his shotgun in one hand and pistol in the other

This earned an eyebrow from everyone but Jenkins who practically glowed with admiration.

They came to the clearing that Jenkins normally died in. Shepard decided to hold the group as normal, minus Nihlus' involvement. Shepard pressed Jenkins to move forward but made it clear to head for cover. He didn't want the kid dying again. On cue, the first set of drones came to fire at the kid only to be stopped by the rest of the group. One exploded in flight while the other was spared that fate by being sent in a spiral downwards. It tried to correct laterally but failed as it ran into Shepard's open palm. He gripped the machine, looking into its optics before mouthing something that the others didn't catch to it. Shepard ripped its thruster off letting it fall to the ground. He fired a shotgun blast straight into the machine sending its hardware to the scrap heap as the programs abroad carried his message to the Heretic Geth.

"Geeze Commander, I know they're robots but that was brutal."

"I was sending a message." Shepard clarified

"To who? It's not like it'll tell…" Nihlus said with a raised eyebrow ridge as he glanced at the machine

"It will. They're Geth."

"Geth? They haven't been beyond the Veil in over 250 years!"

"Do you know of any other group of robots that has sentience?" Shepard asked rhetorically

"Let's move. Questions can be saved until after we get the beacon." Nihlus said, getting them back on track

The group moved on, passing through a wooded area and taking out a few drones along the way. Shepard wondered why they never really saw Geth drones beyond that point. This cycle had brought him more questions and interesting things to think about than any of the previous thousand combined. He grinned at the fun he was going to have.

"Who are you, soldier? Nihlus asked the girl in white and pink armor

"Ashley Williams, Gunnery Sergeant of the 212. Not that I'm in a position to ask, but what's a Turian doing with Alliance Navy?"

"Classified." Shepard said with a grin, "But if you follow us along… you may hear some things that I can't stop."

His grin grew wider.

"Afterall, I can't fault you for figuring the goal of this Spec Ops team on the way to the Beacon… Oops… My bad."

Ash looked at him incredulously before matching him.

"Yes, Sir!" She gave a casual salute, whipping out a Banshee rifle

Why he still had a Lancer… he had no clue…

* * *

Saren's beady eyes creaked slightly as he was forwarded a transmission from a geth drone. Apparently, a Spec Ops team had landed not far out from the port. They were heading straight for the beacon. He growled, dual tone not even eliciting a flinch from the geth group. The last bit of the information centered in his skull as he realized the human said something, merely mouthing it in front of the drone's optics. He focused his omnitool on deciphering the human's words.

"Saren, beware Sovereign. He lies about the true nature of his kind." A robotic imitation of the commander's voice shattered his train of thought

Fear crept up the Turian's spine.

He wasn't alone in his knowledge of the reapers. This human knew. But how? Who of the two knows more of the reapers? Pain flashed through his head as he felt Sovereign try to claw out his doubt. He pretended that it worked, settling down and thanking the reaper in falsity. He would have to think about this subtly to avoid Sovereign's ire. He had neither the mental prowess nor the technology to resist its control as of yet.

He stood up and looked to the beacon, letting it flood his mind with images. They made little sense, but he knew his next destination. He needed to find a codex of sorts otherwise he would be unable to translate the message of the beacons.

"Good. Set the Nuclear Charges, the ones I got in the Terminus not long ago. Set them for fifteen minutes." his solid, handsome voice commanded

The Geth chirped in acknowledgment.

Saren felt the Turian equivalent of a smile grace his face.

"This is going to get really interesting."

* * *

Shepard exited the tram to see a bomb right in front of him. It was Nuclear from what he could see. It was a new development, to say the least.

"Shit." He sighs out, "Kaiden, looks like whoever did this decided to throw some nukes into the mix. Mind defusing those?"

"I've got enough radiation in me from the Ezzo. I don't think I'd like to add any more." Kaiden joked out

Jenkins grew even more nervous than he already was. Shepard pinched his nose as he walked up the slope, unleashing an overload on the first geth he saw. He pulled his pistol out and landed a single shot to its light, ending the platform. Gunfire pelted the area as he masterfully dodged the hoard of plasma trying to kill him. He glanced back to see Nihlus slack-jawed with his mandibles spread wide. He winked at the Spectre before slinging a singularity at a destroyer and its buddies. This most likely made him out as one of the best human biotics in the N7.

"I got better."

"Do you have no sense of self-preservation?!" Nihlus scolded him

"Nope. I'd rather get shit done hugging death's scythe than look like Jenkins over here." He thumbed over to Jenkins

The kid was going through shellshock, understandable to say the least. This was his home _and_ his first combat op. It still didn't change the fact the kid was huddled in a corner shaking though.

"So, you gonna help me stop some Geth with Nukes?" Shepard asked, offering a hand

The Spectre took.

Shepard walked over to the next bomb, defusing it incredibly quickly. Nihlus' brow plates furrowed. The movements seemed almost robotic, resembling the best of Engineers. He gathered the curiosity to ask:

"So, you seem overqualified for your class. You could be an Adept or an Engineer quite easily. Now that I think about it, you'd be well within the ranges to qualify as just about any class. Why Sentinel?"

"I wasn't always this good. It's built from _years_ of practice." Shepard said simply on the way to the last bomb, Kaiden catching up to the group after finishing up his bomb

"You left Jenkins?" Shepard asked before continuing, "Good. He'd get in the way as it stands. It's best to leave him where it's safe."

Kaiden looked at him in surprise before motioning in a way that told shepard that he had questions, but they weren't significant enough to bother asking.

They entered the final area of the port, seeing the beacon in all its glory.

It glowed as per usual.

"The beacon wasn't doing that when we dug it up." Ashley chimed in

 _Holy Shi-_

Where the hell did she come from?

Did he seriously forget about her?

He sighed out to cover the fact that he was startled.

"Great. _More_ complications. The council is gonna have my ass over the beacon."

"Let's just get this over with." Nihlus cut in, obviously tired of the combat

Shepard agreed.

Shepard was slightly disappointed though. Once they entered, the enemies that would normally flood the area weren't to be seen. Saren apparently got his message. Interesting.

He touched his earpiece, calling for the Normandy to pick up the beacon.

The response was easy and clear. ETA: 3 minutes.

He watched as Ashley approached the beacon, he approached as well. He knew he'd have to receive the beacon's message. Ashley was snatched up, but before he made it he got a flash of gray and black.

Nihlus took her place.

Shepard's eyes widened in shock before a grin spread across his face.

This would _Definitely_ be an interesting cycle.

* * *

Spectre Candidacy Report:

Supervising Spectre: Nihlus Kryik

Spectre ID: 1180-DX74-5727-Q1445

Overall Review: Approved

Re: John Shepard Spectre Candidacy

In this first report, I would like to address a few concerns towards Commander Shepard. The first of the Council's concerns, that being the exaggeration of Shepard's combat capabilities by the Alliance is unfounded. Though his mental state seems to be more detached than anything else. This could be a sign of a mental condition among humans. His decision-making skills though seem to be unhindered. While I do have my concerns over his frankly absurd battlefield awareness as to its absence from his files, I still feel he is a worthy candidate and possibly capable of achieving the feats that Saren was capable of. As such, I currently approve but I feel that more review is needed.

* * *

Shepard raised his eyebrow as he saw the Spectre typing on his omnitool. It was quite a clunky and frustrating method of typing as the soon to be Spectre well understood. Often times on Alliance vessels, it would be difficult to find space for a full computer terminal. As such, to save space, they often had their marines do reports on their mobile device.

It was frustrating but it held some logic.

What made him more curious was the fact that Nihlus was doing this while in the Normandy infirmary. It was usually expected that soldiers don't give reports while hopped up on drugs.

"You do know that giving a report on meds might invalidate your report?" Shepard spoke crossing his arms, his left brow raising in intrigue

"As much as I wish I was on them… I'm not for that very reason."

Shepard gave an appraising hmm, knowing the pain that the beacon gave upon each time it was written to his brain. It was similar to a cluster migraine but it came with a weariness and fatigue uncommon with the condition. There was also a flow that seemed to occupy the brain that never really went away. Though that could potentially be attributed to his unique circumstance.

"That's rough man. I'm glad I didn't have to go through that… though… It was a Prothean beacon. Did you see anything?"

Nihlus turned to Shepard in a gesture of genuine surprise.

"Despite my odd beta-waves… no one has actually asked me that."

"Well, I am. And from your reaction, I take it that beacon drilled something in there?"

The Spectre's mind grew blank for a moment before as he shut his omnitool off, orange glow fading from the room as the limited lighting designed to ease Nihlus' headache failed to properly light the room and left the two in a low, but visible light. The deep red HVAC lights cast long shadows across the pair's faces.

"Shepard?" Nihlus' eyes were beady as he asked his question, "Would you believe me if I thought there was more to this than the Geth?"

Shepard merely showed mild surprise, another thing contrary to Nihlus' record for the hotheaded commander. The man showed a patience unbecoming of his reports.

"I'd say you might be onto something."

Nihlus glanced away from the commander before making a quick flick of his mandibles. It was a sign of relief he'd picked up on around the 100th cycle. It wasn't common for non-Turians to pick up on with the exception of Asari due to their lifespan. He'd seen a few Krogan in his time, but it wasn't especially common amongst them either.

"I'm glad to see you're relieved. I've had a nasty taste in my mouth over that mission for a while."

It was a lie of course. Any real attachment to each cycle was minimal at best.

"You believe me? Maybe I should put you down as a conspiracy theorist. That'll shoot your chances of being a Spectre right up." Nihlus joked, his dual-tone wavering with each of his chuckles

A smile worked its way on Shepard's face as he responded.

"You'd have to admit yourself as one too."

"Well damn… guess we're both stuck in this hole. You've been here longer… anyways out?"

"Sorry, no return on the crazy."

"Damn... " The Spectre chuckled out, mandibles twitching out in a steady manner

It was the Turian equivalent of smiling.

Shepard returned it, savoring the difference in events that shook up the monotony of the cycles. The smile turned into a chuckle until both of them were having a surprisingly good time. It was interrupted by a decently rough coughing fit from Nihlus. Shepard waited until it was over to speak up.

"Need some water?"

"Yeah… I think some water could help."

* * *

"You saw the commander and _Nihlus_ laughing. Stick in his ass Nihlus? You sure you aren't remembering some Fornax gay strip?" Joker asked louder than necessary

"Do you have to make it such a big deal that I'm Bi? It's the 22nd century. We've got literal blue women and you're making a big deal of that?"

"No… I just can't believe that stick can be removed. It would explain if the guy's gay though."

"Joker!"

"Somebody's got to ask the good questions, Kaiden."

"Maybe not when we're on duty then?" Kaiden pointed out

"When am I not on duty?" Joker asked, gesturing to his less than stellar physical condition

"Get a wheelchair then… or get some gene therapy." Kaiden returned

"Sorry to burst your bubble, but gene therapy wouldn't help Joker here." Shepard's voice appeared behind them

"Shit commander… when'd you get so freaking quiet?!" Joker said holding his hand over his heart, looking back at said man

"What can I say… I get quiet when a few of my crew ask some… personal questions. I like to see what they guess." Shepard's face lit up in a devious smile at the two's nervousness

"We weren't m-"

"It's no big deal. It's natural you'd have questions about a relatively new XO. So… ask away?"

"Are you gay?" Joker blurted out quickly and with a shit-eating grin on his face

"Joker!"

"Nope. I'm not the type to pitch or catch in that field…" Shepard said bluntly, surprising the two

Shepard was breaking rank here by losing a good portion of his professionalism here, and they saw the risk he was taking. They nodded, glancing to each other.

"It's nice to see you aren't a hardass like most of the higher-ups."

Shepard snorted, "Ain't that the truth?"

"I don't mind a 'to the point' XO but some can let that get to their heads…" Kaiden finally chipped in

"Yeah." Shepard paused for a moment, "Now for what I originally came up here for… How long is it until we hit the Citadel?"

"We arrived around 45 minutes ago. I mean… that's why I don't have the blast shield down…" Joker commented, gesturing to the window that was usually blocked in space flight for protective purposes

"Well hot damn… I'm just missing things left and right today." Shepard said with a smile

He lifted his arm, sending a brief message to Nihlus letting him know that they had already docked. He thought for a moment before realizing that he'd be following Nihlus this time around… at least for now.

"Interesting." His words leaked out, surprising him

"You say something Commander?" Kaiden asked

"It's nothing." He replied, realizing his slip up

It wouldn't do well to blow his knowledge after discovering such an interesting route. It was by far the most unique one he had in a long while. Having to get by without the benefits of having Spectre Status might be interesting. He'd already done a variety of cycles with limitations before ranging from avoiding using unsuited squadmates, no guns for him, to not using the letter H in conversations… that had been a strange one. He hadn't gone without being a Spectre though…

Truly _interesting_.

"Kaiden, message Ashley and have her join us in the airlock. I'm pretty sure Nihlus is going to want to talk to the Council, and we should join him."

"Aye Aye, Commander."

* * *

Shepard cracked his knuckles under his hard-suit before massaging the back of his neck where his biotic implant resided. It was an L3, moderately weaker than the L2 model but safer than it too by leaps and bounds. It didn't much affect the difference between his and Kaiden's biotic abilities though due to the efficiency of Biotics was determined a large part by experience, something Shepard had in spades.

Eleven thousand cycles do that to you.

As it stood, his biotic strength was well into the range of Justicar Matriarchs… with his L3. Kaiden could peak at a Matriarch's level for a few seconds before burning out. It was amazing for a human… especially one that was only thirty-five. It took him well over a hundred cycles to match Kaiden in raw biotic potential. Truly the guy was a prodigy.

His mind drifted to Ashley, not gifted in any sense but possessing determination that far stripped his own even now. The woman had skills not born of talent, but of years of dedication and practice. It was certainly something that spiced up his cycles.

He'd been unable to get her to believe him on Horizon yet though. Each cycle her words still stung as much as they did the first time. It made him wonder if with this change that the cycle would allow him to change that aspect as well.

"Commander? Are you alright?" Ashley spoke up, drawing him from his thoughts

"I'm fine. Just remembering some things."

"Ah. Family?"

"You could say that…" He sighed out, "I'd just like to get all of this over with though."

"I guess this whole deal with Geth is too much for the Alliance Posterboy?"

Shepard snorted at the idea.

"As if. I've got a few more miles in this tank."

"We'll see, old man."

"I'm only a year older than you." Shepard pointed out

"And yet with that look on your face, you look like an Asari Matriarch remembering her Maiden days…" Ash countered

"Well… I've got a lot to think about."

"Care to share with the class?"

"No. It wouldn't do anything to tell you."

Ash seemed to give him a look that told him that she didn't believe him.

"What? Think I'm a risk telling? You gonna shoot me if I learn the 'truth'?" She seemed to snap at him, causing him to internally flinch

Memories of the Citadel during the Reaper War flashed through his mind. He felt a deathly chill as the feeling of the Trigger of his pistol and the exhaustion of the battle returned to him. He could still see Ash in her armor, defending the Councilors. He remembered the first times he failed and was forced to shoot her. His gut wrenched at he felt her slippery blood across his gauntlet as he tried to stop her from bleeding out.

It always failed in the end.

He was snapped out of his thoughts by a hand on his pauldron. He snapped up to see it was Ashley. Her face was lined with confusion and concern.

"You okay Commander?"

The door slid open behind them, revealing Nihlus with drooped posture and mandibles alike. He looked tired.

'Did I look that tired when I recovered?' Shepard asked himself

Nihlus looked up tiredly before making a quip.

"You know… for sleeping eighteen hours straight… I feel like I haven't slept in 48."

"Welcome to the club. We have cookies." Kaiden replied, earning a chuckle from the Spectre

"L2?" Nihlus confirmed

"On the money." Kaiden replied

"Well, we best be off…" Nihlus activated the decontamination, automatically closing the door behind the squad

"Sorry Chief… this ain't it." Shepard said as the lights dimmed and the Normandy's VI system droned its specific line repeatedly

Everybody visibly cringed as the eighteenth 'Decontamination in Progress' line buzzed through the VI's speakers. It continued for a solid ten minutes before the blessed line was spoken that filled the group with mounds of relief.

"Decontamination Complete."

Nihlus looked to Shepard, fearing the answer to the question he would voice.

"Does that take that long every time?" Nihlus asked

"About that…" Shepard shrugged off

"I don't care. I'm getting that thing replaced with something faster. I will use my Spectre status if I have to… I would rather catch Lepraeus than go through that again."

"Lepraeus?" Shepard asked as they headed to the elevator

"It's a rather painful plate disease. We get boils under our plates that can burst. It's considered incurable despite its effective treatments to limit its spread and symptoms." Kaiden spoke up, earning a surprised stare from the group

"What? I wanted to be a medic before they measured my biotic strength."

"What was your ranking?"

"I got a score of 1937 on the B.A.P.S.a.A.T. straight out of Jump Zero in '68."

Nihlus winced at that.

"I heard about Commander Vyrnnus. He was an abusive bastard and he got what he deserved. His treatment of children was comparable to that of Special Forces Cabals. I wish I could apologize enough for the way he treated your classmates."

"It's fine. I did the right thing in ending him."

"Wait… you're the one who put him down?" Nihlus asked, earning a reluctant nod from Kaiden

"I'll have to buy you a drink for doing the Turian race a favor."

The elevator doors shut.

And so began their elevator ride.

* * *

A/N:

Well, that closes the Prologue.

This is in general, what I've always wanted to in a Mass Effect fanfic. I've had ideas for a plethora of Fanfictions, but none of them allowed for the depth I want in a fic like this. As such, after scrolling through the site I came up with a twist on the concept of The Lives and Deaths of Commander Shepard by MosaicCreme. It's a nice read I'd imagine, but I just couldn't keep reading :\ What you just read is the idea from it put into a different form. I will be branching from that idea more and more as time goes on, and this will grow about as AU as I can make it without introducing crossover elements. I want this to be purely "Mass Effect" and I love this series for what it does.

Now I'll address a few potential concerns in a QA format. If you guys have any questions, just review or PM me with them and I will include them here:

Q.) Shepard seems a bit OoC. Is that going to stay that way?

A.) Shepard at his core _is_ still Shepard. He cares for the Normandy and the Galaxy as a whole but as time has gone on, his empathy has been stretched to its limits. He will struggle with retaining his genuine empathy with events that remain similar to cannon. He will get attached to this cycle.

Q.) You mentioned smart people might remember some things from previous cycles. How's that going to work?

A.) Similar to the anime: Steins;Gate (Great show, I recommend it), Emotions and base feelings aren't necessarily kept from following in other characters as a time traveler is sent back. This is comparable to how Shepard's biotic ability improved over time despite his brain being unchanged from the first cycle. Smarter characters might recognize these feelings and get senses of Deja-Vu and such, but you'll have to wait and see for anything more than that.

Q.) This story has _ issue with _. Are you going to fix that?

A.) Well, I'm definitely open to suggestions. I also would like a Beta, but I'm cool working without one. My main issue is that I run dry on ideas and I'm not a very creative person at creating something from scratch. That's why this is based on another idea. I'm good at making improvements to other ideas, but not making my own.

Q.) Where'd the name for the Fic come from?

A.) I wrote ~1/4th of the chapter and thought what it would be like looking at something with thousands of years of experience with the exact same thing… and I felt like I'd be looking at people from a distance. Even then I wouldn't really see them. I'd see a reflection of what I once knew of them. Hence the name. (A mirror is technically a looking glass. Blame my 11th grade English teacher for that nugget of knowledge)

Q.) How often will you post?

A.) That's a difficult one… I want to keep these chapters over 5k at minimum because of the pacing of each chapter but again… it depends on my abilities and how my creative juices get flowing. I'd say that the minimum would be 2 weeks and the max would be 3 months between posts.

Now to address things for the fans of my other fics… (I'd imagine there's at least one of you… Maybe?)

Interchange Effect (Redone): On hiatus for rebuild. I want to get better to do justice to that one…

Lament of the Midian Gods: I'm working on the next Arc, and I don't want to finalize anything by posting it if I need to go back and change something

Leagues Above: I'm currently working on the First Floor dungeon chapter and that's planned to be a bit over 12k (Insert over 9000 joke here) words and so it's taking me a bit I'm at 7k right now.

Also, Quick codex entry:

B.A.P.S.a.A.T.(Biotic. Aptitude. Precision. Strength and Ability. Test.)- This test is used to test the overall capabilities of a Biotic. The scores of this range from 300 (Basically someone who can't use biotics) to 3100 (The level of a Matriarch) The average score for each class is as follows:

Vanguard: 1200

Sentinel: 1500

Adept: 1850

Civilian with Biotics: 600


	2. An Interesting Start With a Hint of Hope

Chapter 1

An Interesting Start With a Hint of Hope

Tali'Zorah gasped as she clutched her right shoulder. The splattered purple tunic and black metal O-rings that separated her suit into sections were sealed, but she could still feel the onset of symptoms from the contaminants. It had only taken one shot, one single grain of metal to destroy her shields and rip through her flesh. The subtle heat that centered in her cold wound, a signal she was currently in shock, told her that it wasn't just a traditional block that was used in the sniper.

That and the blaring Giger Counter in her suit.

Yes, she was also feeling radiation sickness on top of the blindingly cold pain in her shoulder that seemed to be seeping out, tapping her of her strength as she paused her sprint in an alleyway to catch her breath. Running would further increase her heart rate and increase the rate of infection, but it was that or another bullet. The tears that welled in her eyes were not due to any fear, but the sheer exertion she had put her body under. Strangely enough… fear hadn't made itself known. She could feel its influence in the background, but it hadn't taken control of her body.

She _should_ be afraid, but alas… she wasn't.

She was honestly curious if they would send anyone after her. She was a Quarian after all. The radiation in the Polonium round could easily kill her in a few minutes, yet here she was… sitting around waiting for her death. It ma-

"No. Auntie Raan would be devastated if I died. I can't burden her with that." Tali hyped herself up

She leaned against the wall, using its support to hold her until she took her first step. She didn't know why, but she knew things would turn out alright. She'd get her data on Saren to _someone_ who could help. Her heart warmed at that thought, further confusing her.

"Must be the radiation."

She stumbled out into the open street, careful to watch nearby balconies for secondary shooters. She couldn't let herself get hit again. She knew she wouldn't be so lucky the second time. She held her wound tightly to stem the flow of bleeding as she scrambled through the crowds, each face in it showing nothing but contempt. She saw an Asari child, clinging to her mother in fear… not of her, but for her. Tali saw the spark of innocence in her eyes, it was the same one that occupied hers not long ago. She felt comforted in the fact that there was at least some vestige of hope for her race.

She saw the red cross.

It glowed bathing her purple hood in its light. She knew of few symbols in the galactic sense, but this was one that every council associated race knew. The idea it represented was insane and sourced from the newest, and most headstrong race to join the Citadel.

Humanity.

They had created the Red Cross for the express purpose of helping any in need. The thought boggled her mind. How could they hope to shoulder the entire galaxy's suffering? It seemed improbable if not impossible to think that they could… yet they hadn't stopped or even slowed their pace. They had been known to accept any race within their capability to help. It was rumor among the many residents of the Migrant Fleet. It seemed to be fable rather than fact, but glancing at the cold, metal door… she felt she had little option.

She opened the door and was immediately met with the sweet scent of antibacterial compounds. Relief flooded her system as the doctor turned to face her. Tali had feared the expression she might see on the woman's face, imagining the cruel looks from the pedestrians not long ago. Her relief was well founded as the doctor's calm face was immediately flooded with concern.

"Oh dear… let's get you looked at. Any wound could be serious for you." Her accent rose and fell in a strange manner that was unfamiliar to Tali but she understood the words nonetheless

"T-Thank you." Tali's own accent broke through, shiver taking over her voice

When had she gotten so cold? Her shiver wouldn't leave her as the world around her seemed to zoom out. Blood pounded in her ears as she felt her head wobble. Sirens blared in equal volume to the pounding of her veins. She felt her knees give, but rather than the feeling of falling she felt as if she were floating.

"-it! Let's get y- so- De-bu-otin. You're bl-d P-ssure is -lling." Tali couldn't make out the doctor's words through her tunnel vision

Tali'Zorah nar Rayya passed out from blood loss.

* * *

Dr. Chloe Michel breathed nervously as she used a pair of tweezers to enter the purple covered wound. She felt a small squelch as she pulled a grain-sized projectile out of the poor Quarian's arm. Devoid of her suit, Chloe saw the girl to be in her early 20s. It was probably someone freshly on their pilgrimage. The girl had an attractive violet tint to her skin that seemed to fade as one approached the wound. She could honestly say the girl was definitely lucky in one department. Even with matted, greasy hair and on the edge of death the girl looked better than most women could hope to be. Of course, the doctor knew that few if any would see the beauty's face.

Chloe paused for a moment, looking upon her handiwork. The entire wound had been cleaned, dressed, and sealed in her lapse of thought. It was almost as if the doctor was working on autopilot. She frowned at the thought. If she had made a mistake, she could have ended the girl's life. Guilt spread through the doctor as she repaired the suit and placed it back on the unconscious Quarian. She removed her hands from the synthetic gloves that allowed her to operate on the Quarian that was inside the Clean Room.

There was little she could do at this point, so she began to go through her medical files, sorting future appointments and setting up forms for medication requests. After that, she went to the bathroom, checking her appearance for any indicators of a lack of hygiene. Not that she had any to begin with, but a stray hair could affect the way her sterile environment was perceived.

She turned on the news, out of sheer boredom after two full hours of occupying her time with her medical duties. It was a slow day and she had completed all of her tasks for the next while so she felt it was okay to rest. Sadness immediately filled her as she took a good look into what had occurred on Eden Prime.

"That's a damn shame. It makes me wonder what the Geth are doing outside the veil though… I hope everyone else turned out okay…" Her Russian Accent showing through again

She smiled, happy to still retain a bit of home.

She loved the work but leaving Earth was possibly one of the hardest things she had ever done. Living off world had turned out to bring its own set of challenges.

An accented groan coming from the speakers of the clean room caught her attention. She quickly got up, shutting off the news for the sake of keeping the calming atmosphere and took quick strides to be at the microphone receiver.

"H-hello?" The Quarian called out in confusion, "Is anyone there? _Don't tell me I got locked in a clean room again_."

Chloe barely caught the last bit of the girl's question and decided to quickly respond.

"No, you're at my clinic under the Red Cross. You came in with fourteen lacerations across your upper body, a severe infection, and a polonium round in your shoulder. I treated you, and I've patched the hole in your suit."

"So I wasn't seeing things… T-thank you." The warbled cough caught the doctor's attention

"Are you still having trouble with the cough, I can give you some cough suppressants that should keep you up and about."

"I don't think-" She coughed again, "That'll be an issue. I need to get on the move."

The girl moved to get up and open the clean room but stumbled, catching herself on the nearby IV cart. Chloe immediately spoke up, "Doctor Voice" coming full force.

"You will _not_ be doing anything of the sort. You've been shot for Christ's sake. You need rest otherwise you're weakened immune system _will_ be the death of you."

"If I don't move, you'll be in danger too!" The girl yelled in return, her strangely Romanian accent coming in full force

"I happen to know some people if you're in need of some shelter from… unpleasant individuals." Chloe finally submitted

"I might have data that could be entirely relevant to the Eden Prime Attack. I'm going to need more than just that."

Chloe sighed at the girl's words

"And here I thought It was going to be a slow day…"

* * *

Commander Shepard felt his mood was quite chipper at the moment despite the cramped vehicle he occupied with A Soldier, a Sentinel, a Turian Infiltrator, and a Spectre. They had endured the Council meeting and had even met up with Garrus afterward. Apparently, with the investigation not directly pinned on Saren, Garrus had been given a lot more freedom and had easily tracked down Tali. It meant that the trip had skipped Barla Von or Harken and had gone straight to Doc Chloe's place. He wondered if the saved time might save her the ordeal of going to Fist.

"So Garrus, you said you were a part of the investigation team into the Eden Prime Attack. How many members are there?" Nihlus asked cordially

"As much as The Council would like you to believe that they're putting their best effort… they're not. We had a total of 3 guys if you count the resource manager and Pallin approving it."

Ashley was surprisingly the only one to speak up.

"So let me get this straight. We're attacked near the center of _Council_ Space, by the _Geth_ armed with _nukes_ who haven't been seen outside the Veil in over _250_ years and the council, the same one that's supposed to help and 'guide' humanity… and they assign _one_ Turian to the job." she paused for a moment, "Am I missing anything?"

Garrus gave a deep sigh, "No, that sounds about right."

A painful silence enveloped the car as the entire group cringed at the Council's Hypocrisy.

"I definitely don't agree with the Council's treatment of Humanity. That is why I decided to evaluate Shepard." Nihlus broke through.

"Evaluate him for what?" Garrus asked, finally entering the conversation

"They're seeing if I have what it takes to be a Spectre." Shepard answered as the air-car touched down

Shepard, being closest to the window was able to exit first, followed by Ashley, Kaiden, Garrus, and Nihlus in that order. When they piled out, everyone but Shepard was pleasantly surprised. The Red Cross symbol was staring them in the face.

"Isn't that convenient…" Garrus said as if he were appraising a gun modification

Air-car transit, otherwise known as Rapid Transit, was similar to other forms of public transportation and worked on a similar vein to busses, namely that they had specific locations they could pick up and drop off. While it was likely intentional for her to place her clinic close to a rapid transit for the business and for the quick travel time, it was quite rare for a non-profit clinic to have taken up such prime real estate. Shepard had never considered that fact before.

"Well, let's see how the good 'ol doc is doing?" Shepard walked towards the door as it automatically opened, revealing the scene he was familiar with

"Shame... " Shepard muttered under his breath

"I didn't tell anyone! I swear!"

"Good... " The guy sounded like he was _trying_ and failing to be intimidating, "You did the smart thing."

Huh… the dialogue was slightly off there.

"If Garrus comes around, you'll be smart right? Keep your mouth shut?" The other 'asks'

They seem to notice the small platoon of armored individuals existence finally.

"Stop right there!" They immediately take Chloe as a hostage, earning a bored look from Shepard

This was about as Vanilla as it came…

"Why don't you put down the guns before you find out what overwhelming firepower feels like and I guarantee you'll feel it. We've got an N7, a Spectre, and an Infiltrator. They can all hit a dime at 200 yards so imagine what they could do to your sorry ass." Shepard finished by drawing his pistol, revealing the N7 stripe that went down his right arm

He noticed the dialation in their eyes. They knew he was telling the truth.

They seemed to glance to each other, but they couldn't take their eyes off the Striker III that occupied Shepard's hand. Under these kinds of odds, even he felt he would consider surrender. He could take on several Spectres on his own but with the five of them all well in the realm of being capable of Spectre status… he would hesitate.

The pistol lowered from the good doctor's head.

"Will you let us go?"

"Sure. If I see you again though, you will be missing a few," His pistol dipped towards their crotch, " _Vital_ Organs _._ "

If the thug's eyes weren't already filled with fear, they sure were now. The man dropped his weapon along with his compatriot, running out of the clinic as quickly as possible. They didn't even draw a glance from Shepard as he holstered his pistol and stepped forward towards the doctor.

"Doctor Chloe Michel?" He asked for the sake of the others

"Y-Yes, thank you. Who would you be?" She was rightly confused by the collection of Alliance, C-Sec, and a Spectre

"I'm Commander Shepard, and this is Spectre Nihlus. We're currently looking for the Quarian you recently treated. Sh-They have data on the Attack on Eden Prime that may lead to the arrest of the suspect." He covertly covered his assumption of the Quarian's sex

"Ah, yes… She came in having taken a Polonium round to the shoulder. I closed and cleaned the wound, but she was in a race to find some safety and as you can imagine, I am incapable of that." She gestured to the fact that she was a doctor, "So, I directed her to Fist. While he isn't the best of men, he does have contact with The Shadow Broker. I figured she could have traded her information for safety…"

"So you recommended him to her?" Nihilus spoke up

"Yes. I felt it was best for the safety of my patient."

"Thank you, Doctor. Is there anything else you could tell us?"

"I'm afraid not." She said with a frown

"Then we better hurry and find that Quarian. If they were shot, then it's likely the perpetrator already knows what we do. We need to get that info before the Shadow Broker does." Nihlus exited the clinic and ordered a new Rapid Transit Cab

Upon taking the cab and making it to the Lower Wards, they neared Cora's den. Shepard primed his Biotics mentally, not allowing the purple glow trademark of it show. Upon reaching the entrance way, Nihlus picked up on his alarm and tensed his body, ready for action. Two Turians revealed themselves from behind one of the four pillars that occupied the room each. One to the from and one to the left. Traditionally they'd be flanked, but Nihlus Sabotaged the one to the front as soon as their weapon was drawn. It overheated immediately, spitting out hot steam that seemed to threaten to melt the gun. The one to the left was hit with a pull followed by two taps to the head from Shepard's shotgun. One broke the Turian's shields, the other turned his head into ground… Turian.

Shepard scowled at his thought. Ground Turian…

That sounded disgusting.

"Yeah… Headshots with shotguns are rarely pretty." Nihlus commented for the second scowl, "I'll contact Spectre support. They'll clean this up. I think it would be a bit… traumatizing to leave their bodies out in the open."

"Wait… there was Spectre Support? Like… cleanup crews and everything?" Shepard asked in disbelief for a moment

"Well, what you do expect? Being a Spectre is a job. They pay you, and you do the Council's dirty work. Why would I have to pay for my own cleanup crew when out on a mission?" Nihlus asked as if it were obvious

Shepard had to stop all of his other trains of thought for a moment. He couldn't believe…

"All those credits…" Shepard mumbled out in lamentation

"You say something Commander?" Ash perked up as they moved towards the bar

"N-nothing."

* * *

Tali entered the alleyway, nervously glancing at the catwalks that lined the upper areas of it. She had this underlying sense that this was a trap. From the enclosed space to the various vantage points. If she were meeting the Shadow Broker, she knew that the person was either incredibly cautious or an idiot. In a meeting like this, it would be best to make sure the person was comfortable and safe, threatening to take that safety away would be an effective motivator to coerce the information ou-

How did she know this? She didn't remember reading or watching anything about interrogation or information gathering. Her reaction seemed almost instinctual. It felt out of place.

Maybe the Ancestors were helping her…

She didn't know.

But what she did know was that a Turian exited from behind the set of boxes that occupied one end of the alley. His facial markings seemed strange and his gait had a limp. It seemed strange for a guard to the Broker. Her instincts screamed not to trust the man. Two Salarian bodyguards emerged behind the man, pistols drawn in an investigative manner.

She felt the urge to laugh at the absurdity.

 _Salarian_ bodyguards!

Salarians were so fragile that they couldn't wield even _her_ shotgun, and the thing was on the mid-to-low end on for kick.

The pistols they carried looked dinky too!

A snort escaped her, but she masked it as a boisterous sneeze. Thankfully, the suppressants Chloe had given her were quite effective so she would avoid sneezing or coughing for a while. She glanced back towards the Turian to see that he was already well within her personal space. Her nervousness took over once the man had gently caressed her arm, making it obvious what his desired intentions were.

"Did you bring it?"

"Where's the Shadow Broker? Where's Fist?"

"They'll be here… where's the evidence?" His tone was sinister

"No way. The deal's off." Tali smacked the tri-fingered hand off her and activated her Omni-Tool

She primed a small mine that had just enough power to give her time to get to cover. Any more and she'd be shot again before it had the time to manufacture. That wouldn't do even with the 'pistols' that the Salarian Bodyguards-She still couldn't get over that-, she could easily run into trouble if the Turian had a shotgun.

Hence the explosion that only knocked the three off their feet as she made a mad dash for cover.

She heard two shots followed by silence.

She blinked.

She blinked again.

She gradually peeked over cover, seeing all three of them dead.

"D-did that kill them?" She asked in disbelief

"No, that would be us." She heard a voice from behind her as she stood over the bodies

She flashed around prepared to draw her weapon until she realized how quickly she would be overpowered. In front of her stood 3 Humans, 2 Turians, and a Krogan that looked fully willing and capable of eating her. She froze for a moment on one of the humans, the one with the red stripe down his right arm. He felt familiar, but she didn't know why. Was he famous?

"You're Tali'Zorah, I presume?" He asked, his tone sending a wave of nostalgia through her

The feeling began to fade, allowing her the mental capacity to speak up.

"Y-yes. Are you with the Broker?" She finally asked

"As much as you'd probably wished… no. On the other hand, we are offering the same deal. We're running an investigation of the Eden Prime attack and we heard you might have some information on the perpetrator? We're willing to supply you with safe lodging until we can capture the person behind it."

"Really?" Hope flared in her eyes, as she felt the Common Respect the man had for her. It was something she was unaccustomed to in truth

People either saw her as something to be pitied, a Suit Rat, or the Admiral's Daughter. They never looked beyond that and as such, she felt a warm sense of eagerness to go with the man. He was offering her what she desired after all…

"Thank you. I would definitely like to accept."

"Well, then Ms. Zorah…. let's get you to the Human Ambassador's office." He said offering his hand

* * *

A/N:

I'm sorry this is a bit short, but I wanted to get this out to you guys sooner and I felt this was a good stopping point for the next few thousand words. I wanted to stop it with the ambassador's visit, but that would lead to The Council visit and then to the end off of heading after Saren.

I didn't want to end off the chapter like that, so I will include that at the beginning of the next.

I'm not exactly sure where to head off to next either :D

Feros is an option, but I think chasing something like that when you have the option of the daughter of one of your suspects is kind of poor priority placement…

Let me guys know what you think!

And since there were no questions, I think this chapter won't need a Q/A Section.

OOOOHHHH!

I do have something interesting for you guys though. I will be changing the cover art for this. I'm actually pretty good at drawing if I do say so myself so I should be able to whip something up in the next few days if my Overlord Drawing doesn't occupy it all.

I'll post it with my updated Profile. You can find the link there.

Well,

See Ya!


	3. Drive

Chapter 2

Drive

"You'll have to take the Normandy off of my hands while I sort this stuff out on the Citadel. _Someone_ has to keep Udina in check." Anderson sighed out to Shepard in front of the docking bay, earning a scowl and a scoff from said politician

"I'll keep her in fine condition so we can kick some ass together again someday," Shepard said, earning a feral grin from Wrex who had just passed them to enter the Decon Chamber

Wrex was always a great guy… except…

Shepard shut down that train of thought as he gave a casual salute to The Normandy's former Captain. It was sad, but the man wouldn't Captain a ship for the rest of his military Career. He felt a tinge of guilt as he thought back to a few cycles ago. He was unsure of how many, the only real timer he had for them was a counter that seemed to have never left his mind. Sure it could be forgotten for a while, but it always seemed to return. It measured his time in hell. It made him wonder if his number of resets would just continue to grow infinitely or would they stop at some specific number. The idea taunted him. It concerned him. His anger flared at the lack of answers.

He was over eight-thousand years old with the number of cycles he had gone through and he still had no answer!

It infuriated him to no end.

"You okay Shepard? You look a bit pissed." Kaiden's calm voice interrupted his thoughts from within the Decon Chamber

He almost reflexively thrust his frustrations on the Lieutenant, but barely managed to hold the words back. He paused for a moment, trying to figure out the best thing to say. He couldn't tell the truth, lest he risk this cycle's changes. His mind fluttered with ideas before choosing the simplest one.

"I'm pissed. They're giving Anderson's ship away… _to me_." He used his real anger to flood his lie with loathing

"You're going to be Captain now? That's insane! That'd make you the youngest Captain in the Alliance. It's bullshit they're taking to from Anderson though… he was kind of like an uncle to all of us."

"You're half right. I'm getting to be Captain but I'm not a _Captain_. They're not gonna promote me. They just want to get Anderson out of the picture." He lied convincingly

"That's… bullshit…" Ash finally spoke up, "Anderson deserves better than that!"

"To be fair… how would you know? You've had what... a total of three conversations with the man?" Nihlus commented, "While I agree with you, you hardly know him enough to make that kind of judgment."

Ashley pulled back for a moment, the wave of the scanner running over her face for a moment. Shepard could see the confusion on her face, he could see the recognition flash there for a moment before it died.

His hopes fled from him.

"Either way. We're in charge of taking Saren down." Tali spoke up

"Damn… with Saren on Eden Prime… I'm glad I stuck with you." Nihlus commented, rubbing the back right of his head, "I don't feel I'd have made it out alive."

"You wouldn't have." Wrex's baritone voice spoke up, instantly silencing any objection

The Normandy interior doors opened revealing the CIC. Each member filled out, Wrex being the only one to not let the unfamiliarity of the ship show on him.

"You sure you made the right choice in picking him?" Nihlus asked, seemingly not concerned with Wrex's statement personally

"You okay escorting Tali and Garrus around the ship?"

The Spectre shrugged, "Why not?", Turning to the two in question he spoke, "Now, on your left, you see the jackass that is our pilo-"

* * *

It had been several hours since they had come back to the Normandy and as per usual, they continued the preflight checks. It was standard procedure and while Shepard hated to admit it, it was necessary and had saved lives in the past. There'd been times that he'd lost crew members due to a lack of them. That was why, despite his annoyance, he sucked it up and sat in his desk chair. The terminal in front of him, showing a text document, was meant as his first report as the Normandy's 'Captain'.

Unlike the previous cycles, he now _had_ to get these out otherwise he would lose his position in the Alliance. He couldn't pull Spectre Status like before. It was a downside to his choice to save Nihlus, but at least it broke up the monotonous bouts of shooting. His fingers danced across the keyboard with centuries of experience behind them. It only took roughly ten minutes to complete the two thousand word report. It was well within the upper echelons of typing speed, the current galactic record not held by a Hanar being 243 words per minute. It was actually held by an Asari clerk by the name of Hyrina Yyris that had never felt the urge to quit her job upon reaching her maiden stage. She'd stuck at her typing job for 500 years. The galactic record, though, went to Zydramayous for 4613 words per minute.

Shepard paused for a moment.

When had he learned that?

 _Why_ would he learn that?

Shepard sighed at his seemingly bountiful well of pointless trivia.

"Mayb-" *Friiiiiinnng* A soft chime interrupted his sentence for a moment before he pressed a button and continuing his statement under his breath, "-e I should get some Trivial Pursuit for the crew. Might be good on game night…"

The door opened with a soft hiss, indicating that the button he pressed had finally unlocked the door. Damn those things took ages. Just like the elevators. He'd have to look into why that was the case later. When he glanced up from his terminal, he was met with the ten-foot-tall tank that was Wrex.

He still wore his red armor, though Shepard didn't expect his posture. Wrex usually was incredibly curt with him initially, carrying the presence of someone who thought little of him. It was the kind of posture one would hold against their winey co-worker but unlike that, Wrex seemed to see things differently this time. He'd never shown such changes before so it was enough to catch Shepard's attention.

"Wrex?" He called to the lumbering giant as the Krogan entered his room

He gave Shepard a once over before speaking.

"You confuse me." He stated simply

"I'm… sorry?" Shepard felt similarly the alien, what about him was confusing?

Wrex exited the room with a silent grunt, closing the door behind him. Shepard glanced around, trying to make some sense of what had just happened. He knew Wrex was direct but it wasn't often that the Krogan would completely fall out of character.

Shepard's mind flashed to roughly ten cycles ago.

"You can't possibly believe I'm as stupid as my brother, Wreav! You sabotaged the cure!" Wrex's shotgun leveled at Shepard's face

He could see down the barrels, he could smell the sweat as it poured off his brow. The scent of Ozone that trickled out of the barrel from the extreme temperatures held within.

"We can ta-" Shepard tried to reason

"ENOUGH! This isn't about my family armor or even the Salarians. You expect us, a race on the brink of extinction, to fight in this war without any possible way to recover afterward. You convinced me out of the cure on Virmire but here… no. You've lost the right to talk your way out of this."

The coils anticipated his shot and hummed accordingly. The hum deafened him until Wrex's next words hit him like a brick.

"I was a fool to ever help a coward like you. You lie and you cheat and you treat those under you like its a GAME! I thought I was insane at first, but now I see you clearly. Everybody you seem to care about is just a toy to you! You're more of an animal than any human I've ever met. Even toying with Tali, I'd bet. "

A shotgun round sounded off, one of the shavings clipping his cheek as he rolled to the side and he ripped the gun from Wrex's hand biotically. Wrex responded by throwing a push that sent Shepard flying past the broken weapon and returning the Battlemaster to a balanced stance.

"I've been fighting for over 800 years! You stand no chance! I'll crush you for what you've done!" Wrex roared as he gripped the box the Spectre hid behind, pulling it out and crushing it before throwing it at him

Shepard dodged by the skin of his teeth, picking up a leftover shard of the metal box. Shepard watched as the Krogan charged at him, completely outclassing him in Biotic power. He'd never seen the Krogan this strong before! Shepard felt his enhanced nano-composite bones creak under the pressure of covering himself from the full force of the blow. He went blind from the exertion for a moment, allowing Wrex to get a hold of his neck. The Krogan, pure and utter rage dripping from his features, headbutted him sending a decently bad fragmentation to set in his forehead. Shepard, on instinct, took his still gripped shard and slashed across the behemoth's eye.

Orange blood flowed freely from the wound and caused the Battlemaster to drop him. Shepard gasped as he returned Oxygen to his lungs. He looked up to see Wrex had recovered, wiping the blood from his eye to reveal it to have already scarred up.

Krogan healing factors weren't th-

Then it hit him.

Wrex was in Blood Rage.

Shepard grasped his injured arm, watching as the Krogan caught his breath as well. Shepard saw the steamy breaths that exited Wrex's mouth, they were literal steam. It seemed putting his body under so much stress heated it enough to turn water scalding. Go figure.

Shepard's vision blurred as his newfound concussion took hold. It was at this moment that Wrex decided to charge. The Biotic attack was ferocious but lacked the impact that it had before. Shepard was able to counter it with a push thrown to the legs. It was enough to trip Wrex up and give Shepard the advantage.

Shepard plunged his Biotically enhanced fist into the Krogan's hump, which contained excess water that helped with their naturally high body temperature of 116.8 degrees Fahrenheit. He immediately regretted his action as he pulled an orange and red blood covered fist from the freshly created wound, hissing in pain.

He flicked his hand out and to the right, revealing the massive third-degree burns that now occupied his forearm. He noticed that Wrex was beginning to get up and quickly threw the Krogan against the window. It's reinforced structure held barely, denting in from the force but not before completely crushing the hump of Wrex.

The window was covered by orange blood, and still, Wrex attempted to walk. He fell against the glass, putting several new cracks in the structure. Shepard saw the fire in his eyes remain. This time, Wrex took a step forward. It was unsteady, but the Krogan's blood seemed to stop running down his legs. It seemed the wounds had already closed. Thankfully though, this still left the Krogan in a desperate state. The Krogan picked up a shard of metal, the same one from earlier. This time though, Shepard had no option to dodge. Wrex threw the piece of metal, striking Shepard in his left arm, completely disabling the limb. Shepard stumbled back as the Biotic Krogan approached, healing factor finally wearing thin, but having already repaired the necessary damage to keep Wrex alive.

"I was going to kill you quickly… out of _respect_ , but you've even tarnished that. You truly are the lowest the galaxy has to offer." Wrex ripped the shard out of his shoulder

Shepard saw dark spots flash across his vision from the pain, his implants were the only thing keeping him conscious at the moment. Strangely enough though, of all the senses that were dulled, his sense of smell seemed fine despite the broken nose. His only properly functioning sense fed him one piece of information that confused him for a moment.

Fuel. He smelled fuel.

The flammable type.

"Now… I'm going to gut you for whatever you're worth. You deserve this." Wrex brought down the shard, only to feel a burning sensation flash across his face

The Krogan's eyes caught a glance at a spent heatsink.

He smelled the fuel. It was suffocating.

It was then he saw his world ignite, his body bursting into flames. In full health, he would have been capable of recovering, but missing a good portion of his organs, and a large portion of his blood, he had no choice but to submit to the fire. It didn't take too long for the fire suppression system to coat them in a film of inflammable liquid, but by then it was too late. Wrex's skin was an angry, torched red and caked blood flaked off of the him. Still, Wrex stepped forward. Only collapsing a few feet from the now standing. Shepard caught the battlemaster barely, noticing the fire in his eyes die. His friend didn't have long.

Shepard looked down, guilt flashing in his eyes.

"I… wish there were another way." He choked out

"I can't... believe I never... noticed." Wrex spoke up in pained gasps

Shepard looked up, seeing the light of recognition in his eyes.

"Soo… many… years… to… be alone." Wrex recognized, a friendly smile approaching his face

Shepard felt desperation well within him. His heart rate quickened; his breathing grew labored. He paused for a moment. Someone KNEW!

"What a… pitiful existence." Wrex said, smile turning sadistic, "It's good… to… know… you're living in th-... -is hell for what you've… done."

Shepard felt himself snap out of his flashback, cold sweat across the nape of his neck, tears filling the corners of his eyes. He felt himself settle out of hyperventilation, throat too tight to breathe as heavily as before.

 _He needed a drink._

* * *

Tali couldn't be having a better day despite her clogged nose and frequent coughing.

She stared up at the Normandy's drive core in complete astonishment. She'd only seen two or three drive cores larger than this… _in dreadnaughts_. It was insane how big this thing was. The pulses of the engine and the quiet hum that contrasted the periodic clanks and the subtle grinding noise that she was used to in the flotilla. The whole ship gave off a feeling of premium that she had never seen, save the Presidium. The metal tiles reflected her suit's decorations at her. It made her wonder what her Realk would look like. She wondered what color the hood would be… or the waist-cloth. There were comparatively so many designs to choose from once she completed her pilgrimage.

Would her father show up at the ceremony?

If she could see the man showing any interest in her life it would be that.

All these uncertainties combined with the bright core in front of her left her in a relatively busy mood. Well… that wouldn't be wholly accurate. There was one factor that she had to admit was a definite morale boost to her that she had yet to say. Her mind drifted further for a moment.

' _Commander Shepard_ '

She let his name roll off her tongue. It was strange, in her short time among humans and other races she hadn't met a single one like Shepard. He had this air about him. It was almost as if he knew you better than you did. It wasn't in an invasive manner either. It was similar to a lover... almost. She'd had a few boyfriends on the fleet, and understood when the person you loved just _got_ you.

It was comforting in a sense.

Another thing that drew her in. He had this grace about him. Each movement he made seemed calculated and it carried a weight that she'd only felt from the Krogan. What was his name? Her memory gave her the answer almost immediately. Wrex. The Eight Century Old Battle Master. Even she knew about him.

There'd been actual documentaries on the warrior.

He was a living legend.

' _Commander Shepard._ '

Her mind was drawn back to the Commander as she thought back to the other living legend that was on their crew… The one that captured her attention the most. She felt almost entirely confused about her opinion of him. It seemed odd that a seemingly normal, if quite attractive, human would catch her attention.

She doubted it was anything more than mild curiosity, but she still noted it.

Just as she finished her train of thought, a voice drew her from another. It sounded like well aged Turian wine. It was sweet, old, sour and bitter all at once. Just as in wine, the most prominent was sweet and bitter, making for a voice that carried experience beyond its advanced age.

"I see you've taken a liking to the Tantalus Drive Core."

"Tantalus? What a strange name... " She commented, "Why is it called that? Is it the one who discovered the technology? I hear that's quite common among humans." She said smoothly, unbecoming of her more reserved attitude.

She was feeling bold today.

"No, though it would be nice to know a guy named Tantalus." The man paused for a moment, causing Tali to look at him, "It's named after a mythological god. He stole the Ambrosia and Nectar of the fellow gods to gain immortality for his people and was punished. He was doomed to sit in a pool of water that would recede any time he tried to drink of it under a tree where the branches would move higher when he attempted to pick from it. It's rather fitting considering what this ship does."

"So you believe this is an attempt to take from the gods?" Her confusion was evident

He gave a warm chuckle, "Metaphorically speaking… yes. We've made the fastest ship in the galaxy, and it's invisible to heat emissions detection. This changes Astronautics as we know it. We've taken from what was thought impossible."

She stared in awe.

They made a ship with no detectable heat emissions? The requirements and the technology that would be required to go into something like this was astronomical. She couldn't even fathom how many credits went into this thing alone in _element zero_ let alone the other raw materials. She felt she'd nearly faint when she considered labor and troubleshooting.

"You're a techie, I see. How 'bout this… I'll let you splunk through our systems for a few minutes. I'll have to watch you because you're not on the crew _quite_ yet, but that'll change in a short while if I'm correct. I've served on a ship with Shepard before and he's definitely not the type to look down on you for your race. I swear the man's the next Captain Kirk." The last bit said underneath the man's beath confused her but she paid no mind

"Please. I would be honored." She accepted the offer

"Great! And by the way, I'm Chief Engineer Adams. You can cut the rank though. I've never been that kind of guy. And you are?"

"Tali'Zorah nar Rayya, but please, call me Tali."

"I think we're gonna get off to a great start." She could see a warm almost fatherly smile spread across the man's face

* * *

Shepard sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. He rarely got so caught up in his memories like that. It bothered him in a sense. He knew he had undergone changes as each cycle occurred. He knew he had grown distant in a sense. He, though, didn't want to become like some elderly Asari or Krogan, too set in their ways to see change. He knew they lived through their memories. He almost wished he forgot at the end of each cycle. It would make his burden so much lighter.

He figured it would be unreasonable to expect that though.

He knew this was his curse.

"How in the hell did I deserve this though? Was it my choices… or is this some plan of the Reapers?" He whispered to himself

As wondering would give him no answers, he decided to get up and give himself some space, pun unintended. He exited his room with a wave of his omnitool, heading immediately to the cafeteria. He wo-

Fuck!

He wasn't a Spectre anymore. He couldn't just drink openly on the ship.

There goes the alcohol.

He sighed, deciding to settle for coffee.

When he sat down, he was Joined by Garrus, nursing the Turian equivalent of Tea. Of course, due to their predatory nature, it wasn't made of leaves as most teas are. It would be more accurate to call it broth. It turns out that several of the resident species of Palaven have dissolvable tendons. He grimaced at the thought.

"You okay Shepard?" His dual tone came across with a raised eye-ridge

"You know… I find it kind of strange."

Garrus gestured for him to continue.

"Despite all of our differences, the races known to the council I mean, we are remarkably similar. Of all the designs of complex species, all but one of them are bipedal with two legs and two arms. We have completely different diets, home planets, brains, genetic structure, and everything. Yet here we are… able to communicate."

"You seriously are a strange guy... " Garrus said taking a sip of his 'tea', "You're hunting a rogue Spectre in possibly the most advanced ship in the galaxy with a group of possibly the best fighters in said galaxy and you're stuck in an existential crisis."

Shepard turned to the Turian.

"Well smart guy, where do you think we should do?"

"Well, from what I've heard, one of your colonies, one called Feros, has gone dark. Could be Saren."

"That's a bit of an assumption." Shepard said skeptically

"Well… it may also have something to do with the reports of Geth in the area before it went dark."

"And how do you know this?" Shepard asked, eyebrow shooting up

"Pressly isn't exactly quiet."

"Oh." Shepard nursed his coffee, "Guess our next stop is Feros then? That sounds nice. I hear they have some interesting Prothean ruins. Someone might get a kick out of that."

With that, they settled into a varying number of topics.

* * *

A/N:

Welp…

That's all I could get out. My idea bin is a bit empty at the moment. I could definitely use a bit of help in that regard, but I'm sure things'll progress within the time frame I gave. Most of my creativity went into that Wrex flashback. So… oh well.

I'll get to this in a bit, but I do have two announcements.

I finally made the cover art for this fic, though it won't be set as such for a bit. What can I say, I'm lazy. As for the other… I'm doing another story… well, story isn't exactly accurate. It's a codex of sorts. It will contain ideas and historical references that are meant to flesh out the lore of Mass Effect even more. They're relatively simple, but they leave a lot of room for other authors to base stories on the idea or adapt the idea to their story. They vary from mystical to gritty, to dramatic, or inspirational and so on. Each of these, using my _many_ _ **many**_ hours spent playing the games and time reading the codex to fit it with the lore so there are no conflicts with it.

So, if you guys have ideas, feel free to PM me with them or post it in a review.

There are plenty of ideas you guys have that should be able to help me and my fellow authors with their brainstorming. So, as my favorite following among my stories (Don't tell the others), I'll be giving you a snapshot of one of the entries.

 _Asari Head Crest Dilemma:_

 _In the early 2080's, there was a cultural phenomena that swept Galactic politics. This was the Asari Head Crest. Not to be confused with the Gathula (The Cartilage structure that resides on top of the Asari's head), this is the title of an E-Book that swept the galaxy. Authored by a young Turian by the name of Hastner Gyrixt (Has-Tuh-Ner Gear-Ics-tuh) who according to many reports had an obsession with Asari Anatomy, this book posed a tantalizing question that remained the talk in news outlets for years to come. What does the Gathula do? In his (Unscientific) studies as a mortician, he dissected over 40,000 Asari Gathula to find that the previously thought answer of storing the nerve cells required for powerful Asari biotics to be untrue. Upon the publishing of his book, several scientific studies were done that concluded similarly to him. Upon his death in 2161, he was awarded a medal for his contributions to society and the Asari Gathula was given the subname Head Crest, denoting its popular usage to this day._

So, how'd you guys like it? Did I add too much detail or too little?

Well, that's all I've got.

See Ya!


	4. Naivete

Feros

The only planet Shepard hated worse than Feros was Noveria. From the acid-spitting zombies to the colonists, he despised it. He even hated the names. Each cycle, he forgot his distaste of Feros until he was met with it. As he no longer needed the Cypher because he had attained it in previous cycles, it was purely a pointless mission. Even Noveria gave him an alliance with the Rachni for when the Reapers arrived.

Feros was the epitome of pointless.

And yet, each cycle he had to go.

This is what bothered Shepard as they exited the Normandy. 'They' were him, Wrex, Nihlus, and Kaiden. He selected the two because of their strong Biotics which would be incredibly useful. Nihlus, on the other hand, was there for Council reporting and his Spectre status. After all, Nihlus was still evaluating him for the Spectres and Shepard felt that his 'interest' in forgoing it had died out quickly. It was now a rather tedious affair not having it.

But alas, he didn't really have the option to become one again _quite_ yet.

"Damn… this place stinks." Nihlus commented, voice warbling through his helmet

"You're telling me?" Kaiden said, without the same comforting air filters that a helmet provided

"Then you should've grabbed a helmet."

"Have you seen the helmets the Alliance gives biotics? It's like looking through a straw!"

Nihlus just gave a low chuckle.

"It works for Krogan." Wrex grunted out

"That's right… Krogan tend to have the same visor design as the human biotics…" Nihlus mused, "I wonder why?"

"Let's just get a move on. I'm not a big fan of this place either." Shepard muttered looking over to the end of the bay area

There was usually a guy named David over there. He wasn't there. Shepard blinked for a moment. He'd never done the mission without the guy getting blown up to start. It was kind of unsettling now that he thought about it.

"It's quiet."

Kaiden was right. Usually, there was a hoard of Geth between them and the colony walls. It felt strange not to see them. Maybe Saren planned an ambush? Shepard gave a long sigh, running a hand through his hair.

"Yeah, this is odd. I'd expect a hoard of Geth when confronted with a colony being besieged by them." Shepard vocally agreed, making his suspicion obvious

They entered the small stairwell that led down to the colony. There were piles of dust and debris and due to the moisture in the air, they had a mushy texture when Shepard stepped in them. He let out a sigh as he hit the final step of the staircase. It bothered him. There were supposed to be hoppers.

Shepard's eyes narrowed as he entered the empty colony.

Unlike what he was used to, there was no Zhu's Hope. All that remained were the pre-fab buildings that littered the open area. There were scorch marks and pools stale acid marking the structures, but nothing else to break the dreary tone set by the revelation.

"Wasn't ExoGeni supposed to be sponsoring this colony? So where're the defenses?" Nihlus spoke up

"Yeah… I don't see any blast marks that aren't this brown stuff or Pulse Rifle scorch marks…"

Kaiden confirmed

"It's likely they weren't providing protection. They're notoriously stingy when it comes to protection forces."

Shepard halted their conversation with a closed fist that opened in a forward motion. The group moved slowly, opening a nearby pre-fab unit. It stunk as the heat wafted towards them. A hole had been worn through the side, brown, stale liquid lined the hole.

"I guess the brown puddles were acid… but from where?" Nihlus' Spectre training kicked in, causing his investigative skills to go into overdrive

"It's organic." Shepard answered Nihlus' burning question

"What? How so?"

"Look at the decay readings on your Omnitool. Those readings resemble amino-acids. Specifically Adenine, Guanine, Thymine, and Cytosine with a few unknown acids. That Acid is made with human DNA." Shepard frowned out

"When'd you become the local biologist?" Kaiden seemed confused

"I had a lot of free time as a kid." Sheard wrote off

"It still doesn't explain how it was made and what made it. My bet's on ExoGeni. This reeks of 'Lab-Experiment-Gone-Wrong'." Wrex finally spoke up

"They _are_ a bio-engineering company." Nihlus agreed, "Mad science gone wrong is definitely in the runnings for their profession."

"Come out now or I'm just going to start shooting randomly!" Shepard shouted loudly

There was nothing but a gust of wind to respond.

"Commander, I don't think there's an-" Kaiden tried before a shotgun blast rung out by a selection of crates

"Commander!" Nihlus began, but he declined to continue as a figure came out from behind them

"Okay! Okay! Just… _don't_ shoot!" It was an Asari, her lab outfit was standard and unremarkable aside from the ExoGeni logo that was plastered across the front

It might as well have been rags with how torn the article was. Cuts and bruises lined her body, each marking a mistake in her survival. Her posture showed her fear. Her hands were raised, her eyes wide and her cheeks flushed with exaustion.

Shepard kept his shotgun raised with one hand, relaxing his posture slightly.

"Who are you?" He asked sternly

The young Asari seemed to be surprised by the question.

"You _aren't_ controlled…" She spoke with realization before relief flooded her voice, "You can't imagine how happy I am to see someone not under the influence of the Thorian."

"Thorian? I assume that explains the acid?" Nihlus cut in

"Yeah. We, ExoGeni I mean, were studying it." Her hands wrung, "It has fascinating regenerative properties, allowing tissue cloning on a scale, speed and with an accuracy that we've never seen before. If we could extract that, there could be a development beyond even MediGel."

She paused for a moment.

"At least that's what the higher-ups thought."

"And you disagreed?" Kaiden said sympathetically

"It's a sentient being capable of overpowering the minds of most races with its fungal-esque spores. We would have to strip it of its will to obtain those properties." She gave a bitter look towards the center of the complex, "I signed up with ExoGeni to help make medicines that would save the lives of others… not end them. Shows what I get for being naive."

"Well, that's where your job ends and ours begins." Shepard spoke up, internally grinning with delight

This was _just_ the kind of change he was looking for to spice things up. He definitely would enjoy this mission if things continued as they did. This was the most entertaining thing he'd done in over 300 cycles…

"So, what's the plan, Commander?" Nihlus turned to the hidden immortal

Shepard thought for a moment on what would make the most sense while still maintaining the interest he desired.

"Kaiden, take the lovely Asari to The Normandy. Try to grab some spare Mako fuel canisters. I think I have an easy way to beat this Thorian. While you do that, Wrex Nihlus and I are going to head in and search for the Geth. We saw a few dropships along the way down so we should be able to bring 'em some pain."

Kaiden kindly guided the bound to be former ExoGeni Employee to The Normandy's docking bay. As they left around the corner, Wrex looked to Shepard with a malicious grin.

"We aren't going to do that at all are we?"

"Nope. We're going to find out what the hell exactly ExoGeni was doing. She gave us the positive version of what they were doing, but that's rarely where the story ends. I've got a gut feeling that _that's_ why we haven't seen a colonist. I also doubt that we won't run into whatever remains of the thing that was slinging acid around. Everybody got their Toxic Seals?"

"I wouldn't be a Spectre if I couldn't even manage that…" Nihlus mumbled

"I can handle a little acid." Wrex said gruffly

"Great! Then, let's get a move on."

* * *

Kaiden glanced to the left at the Asari as he escorted her. Her weary posture and slight limp told him that it might be a good idea to stop. While he was more than fine to continue, it was obvious she was reaching her limit.

"We can stop here." Kaiden gestured to an enclosed area to the side

"Why there?" She huffed out tiredly

"It's easier for me to defend if we get attacked. I don't think you'd be able to help with your biotics either…" He gave her an awkward once-over, trying to ignore her state of attire

"Yes. I'm quite aware of that." She deadpanned at him

"So… pardon me asking, but what else were you doing here. I mean… Exogeni rarely, if ever, provides aid to a fringe colony like this. I get the fact that the Thorian was a big thing for you guys but why involve the colony?"

"Honestly? I… have no clue." Her sigh came heavy, "I just studied its ability to control the mind of people with its spores. It could detect and alter its method of possession based on the biology of the victim. If we could add that into something like Medigel, we could treat more illnesses with it and avoid potential Dextro-Levo reactions."

"Maybe that's why you had the colonists?"

"..." She frowned at his idea, "Do you really think so low of Exogeni?"

"I'm a bit cautious. It wouldn't be the first time Exogeni as hurt people in the pursuit of progress."

"You're an L2?"

"Yeah, though I'm one of the lucky ones. I only get debilitating headaches every few days."

She looked down at her feet. The torn-up shoes that she wore were barely holding up after the stress she had put them through. Kaiden ran a hand through his hair. It was well kept despite his profession. His armor was kept to the same standard. The only thought that could rise to the occasion was that he seemed lonely. It was an odd thought so she chose to ignore it in favor of standing up, willing herself to move. She audibly winced, not long after feeling the Sentinel's eyes pierce her soul. His eyes strained as he seemed to look through her before a sigh snuck past his lips.

"Stay there for a second. I'll piggyback you to the ship."

She blinked a few times in succession before she was hauled up with a yelp and held up by the soldier. The solid plates that covered his frame gave her a semblance of comfort. At least she'd be less exposed.

She still had no idea what this had to do with pigs though…

* * *

After wandering and cutting down a few geth that lingered throughout the destroyed colony, they entered a set of tunnels. The temperature dropped a few degrees and the stench within the colony faded in favor of the musky, stale scent of limestone. Shepard, still wielding his shotgun, switched to his sniper rifle. He immediately took a shot at the geth around the corner, killing it instantly. He opened the chamber to his rifle to let it cool and pulled out his pistol as Wrex launched a warp at the second one, collapsing its shield and exposing its spinal wiring. Nihlus fired a burst from his rifle, ending the second geth.

The third attempted to drop a cover shield as it wasn't in cover, but surprisingly it seemed to explode in the machine's face. The other two, quickly realizing that Shepard had destroyed the emitter before it hit the ground, causing the battery inside to explode.

"That's some quick reflexes, Shepard. You're quite the combat genius." Nihlus said uneasily, shifting on his feet as Shepard activated the water pumps for some reason

"Why's the place need water? I can tell you from personal experience the dead don't get thirsty."

Shepard looked back to the Krogan, eyes flickering for a moment in realization before hardening.

"People might move in again one day. Why not get this place running? We've got to clear out the Geth anyway."

Both seemed to frown at the weak excuse but let it slide, Wrex grunting with disinterest and Nihlus looking away briefly.

They finally hit a dead end, coming across another corpse. It was of a man who appeared to be roughly in his thirties, acid, and blood leaking through his clothing. There seemed to be no sign of attack from the Geth.

"Pretty bad way to go. The Exogeni employee mentioned that the spores can control minds… did the Thorian make him do that?" Nihlus commented, Wrex providing his own input

"I'm not so sure. Why'd the Thorian make him kill himself? Usually, you want to keep underlings…"

"It was Suicide." Shepard stated before heading back to the colony

* * *

"You know Kaiden, If I had known you'd be bringing hot chicks every mission, I might have become a Marine instead of a pilot…" Joker said casually as Kaiden entered the Normandy after an agonizingly long decontamination cycle

"Not the time. She needs medical attention. She's likely been up for days, and on the run from the Geth."

Joker's eyes widened as he pressed a few keys on the holographic display.

"Gotcha. Chakwas knows. Feel free to take her there yourself."

"Thanks."

Kaiden looked back to the Exogeni Employee, her eyes were drooped and her head swayed with each labored step Kaiden took. Her flushed skin was slowly returning to it's soft blue tones, filling Kaiden with relief. He made it down the stairs, not without gaining a few stray looks from the male members of the crew… a few women too. The Med Bay opened up to the two, it's blinding white lights illuminating the doctor with an open bed. Kaiden felt a strange sense of exhaustion, his mind pausing for a moment.

Chakwas guided the two to separate beds, pulling up a scan on the woman. From what Kaiden could see, her vitals were average with the exception of the bundle of nerves at the base of her neck that were responsible for biotic control. Kaiden quickly noticed the abnormal growth due to the medical training that all sentinels received. He watched as it seemed to pulse under the scan.

"That's concerning to say the least…" Chakwas said, reaching for the emergency lockdown button

Her hand shakily, but gently pressed the button, all doors immediately slamming shut and each of the vents gained a blue sheen.

"Doctor? What's going on?" Kaiden asked nervously, his fatigue causing him to be calmer than he otherwise would

"The Asari you brought has a growth that has attached itself to her Cerebellum and Biotic nodules."

"A parasite?"

"No. This thing appears to be completely sentient. I'm detecting Beta waves, which means it's awake."

"At least she seems to be out like a light…"

"Yes. It would appear that it doesn't have enough control to do anything yet. It just seems to be focused on growing."

"Is there anything you can do?"

"Without killing her? I doubt it." Her aged face wrinkled at the thought

"Then what? Are we just going to wait?"

"I'm afraid so. I'd rather not risk this thing getting out. I haven't seen anything like it, so I'd rather not stumble across another Rachni."

Kaiden gulped at the thought. The Krogan could barely hold off the Rachni. If this turned out to be another case like those? It's likely the Council would lift the ban on Orbital Bombardment for Feros. He shuddered at the thought of what a mass bombardment would do to the planet. The people that would die.

"Chakwas?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm feeling a bit more tired than I should. I think my amp might be on the fritz again…"

Sometimes, his biotic amp would become incredibly sensitive to thought pattern and subtly activate his biotics. It was a decent part why he was such a powerful biotic for a human. He had dealt with the issue for a few years before any doctor actually found out why. Since it was in the onset of the first L2 side effects, his parents had feared he caught some rare disease.

Thankfully not, but it was still a pain to get it calibrated every once in a while. At least he had yet to develop any mental issues. That was a blessing in disguise.

Chakwas let out a heavy sigh.

"It would appear that she isn't the only one infected." She gestured to the scan of him, though significantly smaller, the same foreign matter seemed to be present around the casing of his biotic amp

"It seems to like ezzo." He commented dryly

* * *

"And why aren't we taking the Mako?" Nihlus asked

Shepard looked back for a moment as they crossed the incredibly long, windy bridge. His lips pursed for a moment, his mind finding the right way to word his thoughts.

"Apparently the Doctor noticed a parasite attached to the doctor. And it's gotten on Kaiden as well…"

"Does that mean we're infected?" Nihlus' voice seemed to waver with aggravation

"Probably. That's why we're heading to the Exogeni base though." Wrex commented

"I'm surprised you considered that."

"Well, not all of my race are idiots. Just enough to pull us to extinction."

"True… that seems to be a running trend with Krogan history though…" Shepard finally spoke up

"How so?" Wrex seemed to grind out

"I mean, you guys put yourself in nuclear winter. Which means you at least got to making a few Atomic Bombs. Basically, you didn't just launch it immediately. You waited just long enough to shoot yourselves in the foot with a few thousand of them.."

Wrex seemed to grimace at Shepard for a moment. He _wanted_ to find something wrong with that, but he just couldn't bring himself to argue. Shepard was right.

"All you need is someone to keep you from tipping over the edge and you guys could prosper."

"You're giving suggestions on how to help the Krogan more stable…" Nihlus looked at Shepard skeptically

"Why wouldn't I?" Shepard looked back at the Spectre

"Stability doesn't exactly work all that well on them."

Wrex gave a growl.

"Well, it's all a matter of perspective. Our definition of stable obviously doesn't work of them. Why not let them create their own definition?" Shepard looked to Wrex

"You're looking to me?" Wrex scoffed

"Well, of anyone, you'd have the authority. You're of clan Urdnot, well known for your battle prowess, and once we take down Saren you'll be one of the only Krogan to face Geth AND a Spectre and come out on top. You should be able to throw your weight pretty easily."

Be it their arrival at Exogeni, or something else… Wrex didn't respond.

* * *

A/N

Welp... Sorry for not keeping up to date on stuff like this. I've been rather busy, from working 12-hour shifts left and right in high school, to moving, to managing the fact that my apartment nearly went up in flames from a single shorted light socket.

I was talking with a fellow author and he seemed to like this, so I figured I'd start updating this in my spare time. I don't have much of it anymore as I recently got hired to do IT for a Medical Distribution Company, so I can't guarantee any update times, but I definitely don't plan on dropping this.

Welp,

See Ya


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